Monday, June 23, 2008

Depressing College Milestones...

Looking back at my tenure as a college student, it seems that virtually every big milestone has been surrounded by deaths. Lets see...

2001, started the undergrad BS at Loyola.
Famous deaths:
  • Douglas Adams
  • Dale Earnhardt
  • 9/11/2001
2005, finished the undergrad BS and started grad school at Loyola.
Famous deaths:
  • Don Adams (Would you believe...)
  • Stan Berenstain (of Berenstain Bears fame)
  • Johnny Carson
  • James Doohan
  • Arthur Miller
  • Robert A. Moog
  • Pat Morita
  • Rosa Parks
  • Richard Pryor
  • Michael Vale (aka. The Dunkin Doughnuts baker)
2008, finished grad school.
Famous deaths:
  • Arthur C Clarke
  • George Carlin
  • Gary Gygax
  • Edmund Hillary

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Best. Spam. Subject Line. Ever. Part 2

Not too long ago, I was checking my email and decided to start clearing out my spam folder. The first subject line which popped out at me was the following:
Give a total monarchy to your pants member
Hmmm. ok... Is this spammer trying to sell my inseam a new form of government or something?

Now on to two related subject lines...
Much larger amounts of aspirin than are usually recommended adoptive

Sniff doctor may want you to reduce gradually the amount you are taking

Unsolicited medical adoption advice is always needed. Yeah, needed to be sent to /dev/null

Be more protected; take your life jacket here.
Aye, Aye, Cap'n. While we are at it, can I tell you where to put that life jacket?

Next, a more complete spam for your entertainment...
subject: Boost your ego with herbal solution

text: With greater size comes greater powers
Yeah, and with great power comes great responsibility... Thanks Toby.

Oh well. At least my spam box is now clean. I think I'll go back to my regular non-normal hobbies.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Pop Quiz...

Here is a pop quiz on the topic of life...


Once when I was grade school, one of the older ladies on my street walked by my house as she returned home from the bank. At the time, she was carrying a few hundred dollars in twenty and fifty dollar bills. Unfortunately for her, the weather at that moment of time was rather windy, and as a result, a couple of the bills blew out of her hands and into the street. Most of the bills quickly blew far outside of her reach.

I was outside at the time, and one of the bills, a fifty dollar bill, blew close to my position. After hearing her issue a few exclamations and explicatives, I quickly realized she was the rightful owner of said bill. Taking the initiative, I immediately returned the bill to her. This was all done without any expectation of reward. The lady, who was totally surprised that someone would return some of her money to her, did give me a reward of twenty dollars for my actions.

The next day, I told my friend the story of what happened, and he immediately started to question me why I didn't just keep the money instead of giving it back and taking a reward of forty per cent of the found currency value.

Question: Which character from the story above became a medical doctor?

(Answer: The friend went to Harvard and became a medical doctor.)

Best. Spam. Subject Line. Ever.

I recently recieved a spam with the subject line "Crapless Craps". Now, I may sound immature, but WTF is a "crapless crap"? Does this involve some sort of imaginary dice, or is this gambling on passing wind. I dunno...

In any case, the email was gleefully deleted and I am planning on spending a good deal of time meditating and pondering that subject line. Who knows, maybe this is a new form of Zen...