Monday, June 23, 2008

Depressing College Milestones...

Looking back at my tenure as a college student, it seems that virtually every big milestone has been surrounded by deaths. Lets see...

2001, started the undergrad BS at Loyola.
Famous deaths:
  • Douglas Adams
  • Dale Earnhardt
  • 9/11/2001
2005, finished the undergrad BS and started grad school at Loyola.
Famous deaths:
  • Don Adams (Would you believe...)
  • Stan Berenstain (of Berenstain Bears fame)
  • Johnny Carson
  • James Doohan
  • Arthur Miller
  • Robert A. Moog
  • Pat Morita
  • Rosa Parks
  • Richard Pryor
  • Michael Vale (aka. The Dunkin Doughnuts baker)
2008, finished grad school.
Famous deaths:
  • Arthur C Clarke
  • George Carlin
  • Gary Gygax
  • Edmund Hillary

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Best. Spam. Subject Line. Ever. Part 2

Not too long ago, I was checking my email and decided to start clearing out my spam folder. The first subject line which popped out at me was the following:
Give a total monarchy to your pants member
Hmmm. ok... Is this spammer trying to sell my inseam a new form of government or something?

Now on to two related subject lines...
Much larger amounts of aspirin than are usually recommended adoptive

Sniff doctor may want you to reduce gradually the amount you are taking

Unsolicited medical adoption advice is always needed. Yeah, needed to be sent to /dev/null

Next...
Be more protected; take your life jacket here.
Aye, Aye, Cap'n. While we are at it, can I tell you where to put that life jacket?

Next, a more complete spam for your entertainment...
subject: Boost your ego with herbal solution

text: With greater size comes greater powers
Yeah, and with great power comes great responsibility... Thanks Toby.

Oh well. At least my spam box is now clean. I think I'll go back to my regular non-normal hobbies.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Pop Quiz...

Here is a pop quiz on the topic of life...

Story:

Once when I was grade school, one of the older ladies on my street walked by my house as she returned home from the bank. At the time, she was carrying a few hundred dollars in twenty and fifty dollar bills. Unfortunately for her, the weather at that moment of time was rather windy, and as a result, a couple of the bills blew out of her hands and into the street. Most of the bills quickly blew far outside of her reach.

I was outside at the time, and one of the bills, a fifty dollar bill, blew close to my position. After hearing her issue a few exclamations and explicatives, I quickly realized she was the rightful owner of said bill. Taking the initiative, I immediately returned the bill to her. This was all done without any expectation of reward. The lady, who was totally surprised that someone would return some of her money to her, did give me a reward of twenty dollars for my actions.

The next day, I told my friend the story of what happened, and he immediately started to question me why I didn't just keep the money instead of giving it back and taking a reward of forty per cent of the found currency value.

Question: Which character from the story above became a medical doctor?


(Answer: The friend went to Harvard and became a medical doctor.)

Best. Spam. Subject Line. Ever.

I recently recieved a spam with the subject line "Crapless Craps". Now, I may sound immature, but WTF is a "crapless crap"? Does this involve some sort of imaginary dice, or is this gambling on passing wind. I dunno...

In any case, the email was gleefully deleted and I am planning on spending a good deal of time meditating and pondering that subject line. Who knows, maybe this is a new form of Zen...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

New hobby: Archery

In fall 2007 I decided to take up another hobby: archery.

My first experience with archery was many years ago at summer camp. I remember spending many hours on the range, shooting at close range targets with light weight compound bows. Fast forward to fall 2007, when out of the blue one weekend I decided to go to an archery range and spend a few hours shooting on the indoor range.

My first range experience was pretty good. One of the guys at the range volunteered to teach me about archery. He walked me through the different types of bows, shooting techniques, etiquette, and most importantly, safety. After the initial walk-though, I decided to focus on traditional archery. I can still remember that time on the range... I was shooting a rented 25 lb recurve bow. I didn't hit my paper target much that day, but it didn't matter much to me as I was happy to just hit the white target blocks at 15 yards. Later that day the owner of the range allowed me to take a couple of shots with his 40 year old magnesium recurve bow. That was a sweet bow and shot very nicely!

A few range visits later I learned how to aim properly and started to improve my accuracy. I was starting to hit my paper targets fairly regularly at 15 and 20 yards and my arrow spreads were getting smaller. I quickly moved up from 25 lb to 35 lb and finally to the 40 lb draw recurves.

In January I decided it was time to look into getting my own bow. I spent a couple of hours one day at Cabela's testing out different bows... I tested every recurve, takedown recurve, and longbow they had in stock. It was at this time I decided to see what my draw weight limitations were at that time. At that time, I found out that I could easily handle a 50 lb - 55 lb draw weight bow comfortably, and was able to draw and shoot a 60 lb bow with some difficulty.

With this in mind, I started to do a little more weight training in order to strengthen my arms. I was quickly able to build up my strength so that I could use a 50 or 55 lb bow for at least an hour without killing my arms.

Fast forward to March... My friends decided it was time for them to pick up a bow. They happened to decide on a 50 lb Fred Bear Montana long bow. At that time, I was eyeing a 55 lb Fred Bear Super Kodiak recurve. Let me tell you, both bows are great bows, and they feel about the same to shoot. Although the longbow requires significantly more practice than a recurve.

A month later, I decided that it was time for me to get my bow. On Friday, April 11 I went to Cabela's in Hoffman Estates, IL and spent some time on their archery range trying out and comparing the 50 lb Fred Bear Montana longbow and the 55 lb Fred Bear Super Kodiak recurve bow. I must have shot at least 100 arrows down range, but was unable to make up which bow was to come home with me that day. Finally something happened which decided it for me: I Robin Hooded with the longbow! Needless to say, I saw the sign and decided that if I could Robin Hood with it, it must be the bow fated to be mine.

So why did I get a longbow? I enjoy traditional archery because it is a challenge. I really enjoy shooting recurves, but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to be respected for taking up something difficult and mastering it to the best of my abilities. I wanted to be somewhat unique and shoot something most archers wouldn't even consider. Finally, I just thought it was cool and really damn fun.

One of the things I noticed at the various ranges is that archers treat each other like family. We may show off our bows, but we are usually very friendly and welcoming. We talk and have a lot of fun while shooting at targets. In many ways it is an easy way to have fun and share some sort of commonality. For the most part, it is about the individual hitting their target while bonding with a group.

One of the things I always tell people is that in archery I am the asshole responsible for the outcome of my shots. I am the one who draws bow. I am the one who aims my arrow at the target. I am the one who decides when to release my bowstring and send my arrow down range to hopefully hit my target. For the most part, there are no excuses when something goes wrong. I have started applying this thinking to the rest of my life and it seems to have helped me focus on what matters to me.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Newfound stress... Part 3, The Epic Conclusion.

And now for the end of our epic series...

Today my neighbor contractor was able to finish he rebuild and repair of all of the gas lines in my house. The gas company sent a technician who inspected the work and then unlocked and turn our gas meter back on.

Yeah, I know... its kinda anti-climatic.

Well, at least I'll be able to take a real shower with actual hot water and enjoy the comfort of hot water heating throughout the house again.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Urban Survival Tip #1: Water Coolers

Greetings, and welcome to the first of what I hope won't be a long series of urban survival tips. Today's tip is about the multi-function use of water coolers.

Water coolers, those refrigerated water dispensers long delegated to the office are quite useful appliances. They are much more than a social gathering place for you and your fellow cow orkers to gather and discuss important topics (also known as bullshit or gossip).

Here is a brief list of uses for these machines...
  1. Source of chilled water for refreshment and re-hydration.
  2. Source of room temperature water for cooling down overly hot drinks.
  3. Source of hot water for making hot beverages.
  4. Source of hot water for making ramen and other non-beer survival foods.
  5. Source of hot water for bathing.
  6. Nearly endless source of little paper cups.
  7. Some models feature a little refrigerator which is useful for food storage (read: beer)
  8. Refrigerator coils (assume a proper water cooler, not a thermal electric cooler model) provide some heat to the cooler office area.
  9. Emptied water jug is useful for storage of some small items or liquids.
  10. Emptied water jug can be used in the production of some fermented beverages (read: mead, "hard" cider, wine)
  11. Emptied water jugs can be used as a simple defensive weapon.
  12. Emptied water jugs can be used for signaling or drumming.
  13. Emptied water jugs can be used as a source of entertainment (read: office chair bowling).
According to legend, MacGuiver could could turn a water cooler into an attack helicopter. Meanwhile, Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick one and turn it into a full color laser print center.

So, there we go.