Pop Quiz...

Here is a pop quiz on the topic of life...

Story:

Once when I was grade school, one of the older ladies on my street walked by my house as she returned home from the bank. At the time, she was carrying a few hundred dollars in twenty and fifty dollar bills. Unfortunately for her, the weather at that moment of time was rather windy, and as a result, a couple of the bills blew out of her hands and into the street. Most of the bills quickly blew far outside of her reach.

I was outside at the time, and one of the bills, a fifty dollar bill, blew close to my position. After hearing her issue a few exclamations and explicatives, I quickly realized she was the rightful owner of said bill. Taking the initiative, I immediately returned the bill to her. This was all done without any expectation of reward. The lady, who was totally surprised that someone would return some of her money to her, did give me a reward of twenty dollars for my actions.

The next day, I told my friend the story of what happened, and he immediately started to question me why I didn't just keep the money instead of giving it back and taking a reward of forty per cent of the found currency value.

Question: Which character from the story above became a medical doctor?


(Answer: The friend went to Harvard and became a medical doctor.)

Best. Spam. Subject Line. Ever.

I recently recieved a spam with the subject line "Crapless Craps". Now, I may sound immature, but WTF is a "crapless crap"? Does this involve some sort of imaginary dice, or is this gambling on passing wind. I dunno...

In any case, the email was gleefully deleted and I am planning on spending a good deal of time meditating and pondering that subject line. Who knows, maybe this is a new form of Zen...

New hobby: Archery

In fall 2007 I decided to take up another hobby: archery.

My first experience with archery was many years ago at summer camp. I remember spending many hours on the range, shooting at close range targets with light weight compound bows. Fast forward to fall 2007, when out of the blue one weekend I decided to go to an archery range and spend a few hours shooting on the indoor range.

My first range experience was pretty good. One of the guys at the range volunteered to teach me about archery. He walked me through the different types of bows, shooting techniques, etiquette, and most importantly, safety. After the initial walk-though, I decided to focus on traditional archery. I can still remember that time on the range... I was shooting a rented 25 lb recurve bow. I didn't hit my paper target much that day, but it didn't matter much to me as I was happy to just hit the white target blocks at 15 yards. Later that day the owner of the range allowed me to take a couple of shots with his 40 year old magnesium recurve bow. That was a sweet bow and shot very nicely!

A few range visits later I learned how to aim properly and started to improve my accuracy. I was starting to hit my paper targets fairly regularly at 15 and 20 yards and my arrow spreads were getting smaller. I quickly moved up from 25 lb to 35 lb and finally to the 40 lb draw recurves.

In January I decided it was time to look into getting my own bow. I spent a couple of hours one day at Cabela's testing out different bows... I tested every recurve, takedown recurve, and longbow they had in stock. It was at this time I decided to see what my draw weight limitations were at that time. At that time, I found out that I could easily handle a 50 lb - 55 lb draw weight bow comfortably, and was able to draw and shoot a 60 lb bow with some difficulty.

With this in mind, I started to do a little more weight training in order to strengthen my arms. I was quickly able to build up my strength so that I could use a 50 or 55 lb bow for at least an hour without killing my arms.

Fast forward to March... My friends decided it was time for them to pick up a bow. They happened to decide on a 50 lb Fred Bear Montana long bow. At that time, I was eyeing a 55 lb Fred Bear Super Kodiak recurve. Let me tell you, both bows are great bows, and they feel about the same to shoot. Although the longbow requires significantly more practice than a recurve.

A month later, I decided that it was time for me to get my bow. On Friday, April 11 I went to Cabela's in Hoffman Estates, IL and spent some time on their archery range trying out and comparing the 50 lb Fred Bear Montana longbow and the 55 lb Fred Bear Super Kodiak recurve bow. I must have shot at least 100 arrows down range, but was unable to make up which bow was to come home with me that day. Finally something happened which decided it for me: I Robin Hooded with the longbow! Needless to say, I saw the sign and decided that if I could Robin Hood with it, it must be the bow fated to be mine.

So why did I get a longbow? I enjoy traditional archery because it is a challenge. I really enjoy shooting recurves, but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to be respected for taking up something difficult and mastering it to the best of my abilities. I wanted to be somewhat unique and shoot something most archers wouldn't even consider. Finally, I just thought it was cool and really damn fun.

One of the things I noticed at the various ranges is that archers treat each other like family. We may show off our bows, but we are usually very friendly and welcoming. We talk and have a lot of fun while shooting at targets. In many ways it is an easy way to have fun and share some sort of commonality. For the most part, it is about the individual hitting their target while bonding with a group.

One of the things I always tell people is that in archery I am the asshole responsible for the outcome of my shots. I am the one who draws bow. I am the one who aims my arrow at the target. I am the one who decides when to release my bowstring and send my arrow down range to hopefully hit my target. For the most part, there are no excuses when something goes wrong. I have started applying this thinking to the rest of my life and it seems to have helped me focus on what matters to me.

Newfound stress... Part 3, The Epic Conclusion.

And now for the end of our epic series...

Today my neighbor contractor was able to finish he rebuild and repair of all of the gas lines in my house. The gas company sent a technician who inspected the work and then unlocked and turn our gas meter back on.

Yeah, I know... its kinda anti-climatic.

Well, at least I'll be able to take a real shower with actual hot water and enjoy the comfort of hot water heating throughout the house again.

Urban Survival Tip #1: Water Coolers

Greetings, and welcome to the first of what I hope won't be a long series of urban survival tips. Today's tip is about the multi-function use of water coolers.

Water coolers, those refrigerated water dispensers long delegated to the office are quite useful appliances. They are much more than a social gathering place for you and your fellow cow orkers to gather and discuss important topics (also known as bullshit or gossip).

Here is a brief list of uses for these machines...

1. Source of chilled water for refreshment and re-hydration.
2. Source of room temperature water for cooling down overly hot drinks.
3. Source of hot water for making hot beverages.
4. Source of hot water for making ramen and other non-beer survival foods.
5. Source of hot water for bathing.
6. Nearly endless source of little paper cups.
7. Some models feature a little refrigerator which is useful for food storage (read: beer)
8. Refrigerator coils (assume a proper water cooler, not a thermal electric cooler model) provide some heat to the cooler office area.
9. Emptied water jug is useful for storage of some small items or liquids.
10. Emptied water jug can be used in the production of some fermented beverages (read: mead, "hard" cider, wine)
11. Emptied water jugs can be used as a simple defensive weapon.
12. Emptied water jugs can be used for signaling or drumming.
13. Emptied water jugs can be used as a source of entertainment (read: office chair bowling).

According to legend, MacGuiver could could turn a water cooler into an attack helicopter. Meanwhile, Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick one and turn it into a full color laser print center.

So, there we go.

Newfound stress... Part 2

For those of you just joining us, here is a brief overview... On Sunday, my gas detector went off and the gas company shut off my gas leaving me with no heat or hot water.

Monday came. We had a heating contractor come out and test the gas pipes. Now, in an ideal world it would be a minor leak in one fitting. This isn't an ideal world. Every effing fitting found some small place to leak. So we were offered some choices: 1. take apart everything and redo it, 2. replace everything and save $ BOATLOADS on labor charges. We did the logical thing and decided to ask the guy if we could duct tape it and call it even. After that sudden burst of logic, we decided to have our neighbor contractor put option #2 into action.

As of the end of Monday, the following work has been done:

• replaced main feed line from the meter to the first tee in the mechanical room with flexible piping.
• rebuilt and/or replaced the black iron piping to the furnace and hot water heater.
  

So, the system isn't quite done yet, but at least it is in a state where the gas company could, theoretically, turn on the gas and give us heat and hot water. Unfortunately that won't happen for at least another half day or so.

Newfound stress...

One of the things I've been proud of is my ability to stay cool under stress. For some odd reason, I seem to have a decent enough coping mechanism to be able to keep things together when the shit hits the fan. Unfortunately, this ability doesn't seem to be commonplace throughout my family.

Another thing I am proud of is my knowledge of safety and security. Yeah, Im a geek who likes to splurge on stuff every now and then, however there are a few things I absolutely insisted on getting, and what do ya know... they can and have saved lives.

Case in point: My house had a few small gas leaks today. Nothing serious, but somthing that couldn't go unchecked. The only reason why I found out about that was because of my CO2 + Explosive Gas chirping its little plastic ass end off. No big deal, just a little shocking when you are just sitting down and about to relax. Nothing says "alert! alert!..." better than "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! " at what must be louder 200 dB.

Ok, so the alarm went off. Time to review protocol and what will really happen. Protocol: alert the parents then call the gas company. Reality: Tell the parents, deal with panic, then watch one of said parents struggle to call our neighbor who will say to call the gas company after he comes over, call gas company (non-emergency) and find out that they are closed and the automated system is down, then panic, find the correct emergency number, call them, wait an hour... Yeah, reality and the supposed emergency protocol is never the same.

So, after waiting an hour, the gas company guys come, and found three leaks. They promptly shut off the gas and lock the meter. So now I'm without heat and hot water, and before it can be turned on the entire gas supply pipe network needs to be pressurized and checked for leaks. This sucks.

Stay tuned for updates.